This week, I reread search16’s testimony about UBF, and this bit in particular caught my attention: “While I lived in common life, I was always under a lot of pressure to conform to UBF standards, and I never felt good enough, so I honestly remember many nights of hopping into my car after testimony sharing and wanting (sometimes trying) to crash my car into a wall.” Yes, testimony sharing, [called “sogam” in the past or more recently “reflection writing”] — the weekly ritual of sitting through three or four hours of identical, pre-written reflections on the same message.
I would like to share this prayer I wrote down when I first realized the destructive practices of the University Bible Fellowship. This was an earth-shattering experience for me, because it threw everything that I had experienced over the course of ten months into a completely new light.
I still cringe a bit at some of the UBF language I used in this prayer, but it reflects the beginning of a massive change in my life. Some shepherds might say that what happened to me in the following months was spiritually destructive, leading to my “falling away” from God’s will. I think what really happened was God answered this prayer.