This is the typical advice you get from a cult that does not want to change.
Leah Remini, one of my favorite actors – though I actually only know her from “King of Queens” – got the same advice when she started to speak out about her experience and tried to warn and help others:
Dropouts are pushed to move on so that the cult can also move on undisturbed, exploiting the next generation of victims.
Luckily, there are always a few who don’t just move on, but also care about revealing the truth to the public.
It’s difficult. You will lose your former “friends” in the cult, and even worse, you may lose family members still stuck in the cult. People outside the cult will not understand what you’ve gone through and why you stayed in that toxic environment for so long, they may think you’re crazy. But leaving the cult is the best thing you can do, and telling others about your experience is even better.
The leader of the UBF Chapter I use to go to has a daughter named S.B.
I first meet her at the Spring 2014 bible conference where I introduced myself to her and shook hands with her. She was kind and friendly. Overtime I developed a bond with her. Some time after my awakening of seeing the “fantasy turn horror” at the wedding on Jan 10, 2015 we still talk and the truth is she not only treated me as a human being but as an equal.
What has been lost has been found. It was believed that upstanders to the perpetrators of UBF and its retribution were silenced or disbanded. However, that is not truly the case. The reformers are still active and mainly together even to this day. In fact with the way events and circumstances are proceeding in current UBF chapters where current members are shaken up and questioning things (like those who are still in the chapter I use to go to) there’ll be a 5th reform movement. This is a theory of course but a very probably one.
UBF leaders like to claim they are just a normal mainline church. This is categorically false. UBF cut all ties with the Presbyterian Church and formed their own new religion. Here is my summary of this new religion.
UBFism is the new religion invented by Chang-Woo (Samuel) Lee and Sarah Barry in 1961. It is practiced exclusively by University Bible Fellowship. The religion has not been comprehensively documented or examined objectively except for here on this new Wiki. The religion has been passed on by oral tradition until now. This new religion is a sort of hyper evangelicalism mixed with Buddhist and Confucian values, and bound by an ideology of sacrifice. UBFism is a shepherding system, where each member, called a sheep, has an appointed lifelong moral supervisor, called a shepherd. I have identified nine components of this religious system.
I recall Ben talk about H.O.T in an article awhile ago. As a refresh “HOT: honest (criticism is welcomed), open (everything is discussed) and transparent (no walls).” However UBF has never been this way. Instead it has always been C.O.L.D. COLD: Crafty (manipulative and deceptive), Obstinate (stubbornly insisting their own way), Lustful (whether it is power, the opposite sex, murder, or forbidden knowledge), Daily (continuously.)
The following quote brought the issue of domestic violence to my mind. “The doctrine has enabled UBF leaders to marry young people to partners they barely know (which has resulted in depression and catastrophic relationship failures)…”
Domestic violence occurs in arranged as well as non-arranged marriages. Husbands and wives can both be perpetrators, but it is mostly women who experience this kind of violence.
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